The guy who had frosted tips, braces and lived in his momma's house years after college is getting married. Even if you don't believe in a higher power, at this moment, you know heaven and earth were moved. For your loyalty, through these rough years, you have been bestowed the honor of being his best man. So, now what?
Lucky for you, your "honey-do" list is not as long as your female counterpart. You are more than the bachelor party chairman, but for appropriate laughs, let us start there. The number one goal is that the groom has fun. No one wants Bender. The best way to plan this rite of a passage is to enlist the help of your fellow groomsmen. Also, ask the groom if there are any specific things he wants to do and if anything is off the table (i.e. hookers and blow). Once you have a baseline, make sure to inform the goom that his rights to add input have been revoked (trust us, its more fun this way). Please note, this is the central time for embarrassing moments to shine. Don't overdo it at the wedding or during the speeches. Whatever you choose, make sure the night or weekend is structured enough so that your not just sitting around watching SportsCenter or so jam-packed you have to rush. Remember: no matter what you choose to do your bud should look back at this event fondly.
Sure you know about the bachelor party, but you may also be asked to help in the selection of wedding suits and the groom's tuxedo. Some of our favorite places to look for inspiration are The Tie Bar and Generation tux. Even if your not a fashionisto, please be on notice: an excellent pocket square will elevate any suit, and your tie bar holds the tie in place once your jacket is taken off during the reception.
Other pre-wedding duties may include:
1. Helping with rehearsal dinner
2. Being the point of contact for all things groomsmen
3. Helping the groom with honeymoon planning/reservations
4. Organize the couple's departure from the reception
5. Selecting an appropriate - or inappropriate - gift for the groom from the groomsmen
Today you are a “yes” man. It's ok to be stressed as long as it is on you and not the bride or groom. Do everything in your power to make the groom as relaxed as possible. From helping to usher Gram-ma-ma to the dimple in the groom's tie, you're the man with a plan. Honestly, this should go without saying, but make sure the groomsmen go easy on the sauce; this isn't a tailgate. During the ceremony, you will be handling the ring and walking the maid of honor up and down the aisle. If you are confused about where to be or what to do, that is the time to coordinate your movements with the wedding planner.
Other Wedding tasks:
1. Sign the marriage license
2. Make sure groomsmen have the boutonnieres attached properly
3. Make sure groomsmen are where they need to be for pictures
The Best Man Speech
You did it! You - yes you - got him down the aisle! Now is your time to shine: the best man speech. This is not a time to wing it. If you are not a wordsmith, it's ok to research jokes and words of wisdom. Go over your speech with someone beforehand to ensure people will react the way you want them too. The perfectly crafted speech will create moments of laughter and love. Being bestowed with the honor of best man is no small matter, show your appreciation by giving him a speech worth remembering!
Our Speech Tips:
1. Keep it 5-8 min long
2. Stay away from inside jokes
3. Acknowledge the groom and especially the brides family
4. Memorize your speech
5. DON'T get the brides name wrong (Yikes!)
IF YOU NEED SOME INSPIRATION HERE IS MY HUMBLE SAMPLE:
For those who don't know me I'm Richard aka the lost Toebe brother but more importantly, I have been Marty and Stephanie's third wheel for the last half a decade.
First off I want to thank Stephanie's for saying yes because Rich and Gail were running out of ideas to get Marty to move out of the house...he is pushing 30 Y'all.
Speaking of I want to acknowledge Gail and Rich and of course the parents of the bride Susan and Roger without them this beautiful day would not be possible.
Marty, we have been friends a long time, but this isn’t about you and me it’s about you and Stephanie. I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge how beautiful Stephanie looks. Now, Stephanie, could you take your hand and put it on the table. Now Marty put your hand on top of hers. I want you to remember this moment because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand in this relationship.
Stephanie, I want you to take a deep breath and remember this moment... One day you're going to be tired from a long day at work and you're going to have to do laundry and your going to find one of Marty's draws and they are going to look like they were wiped on a coal minors brow... Remember this moment...Because love endures.
Now, Marty, I want you to take a deep breath, look at Stephanie and tell her "I love you." Remember she will never tire hearing these words from you. As a married man there will come a point in time where you think "well I married you isn't that good enough" and when that happens remember this moment!
As a married man of 0 years, I want to give you some advice since I’m so qualified.
As you embark on this new journey, keep in mind to practice forgiveness. Even though dating is over love can still be a battlefield.
I challenge you to love deeper.
And lastly live with purpose individually and as a couple.
As I raise my glass I just want to end my toast by saying
In your new life:
May your neighbors respect you.
Trouble neglect you.
Angels protect you.
And heaven accept you.
To Marty and steph!
With that, you are good to go. Now go find yourself a bridesmaid.
Special thanks to Marty & Stephanie
Photography by Emily Star Pool